


Never Any Choice

by BloodyMary



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Dawn of the Jedi (Comics)
Genre: Force War, Gen, and being Xesh sucks, generally depressing stuff, lots of implications of unpleasant things, the Rakata are assholes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 06:17:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8738008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyMary/pseuds/BloodyMary
Summary: Being a slave to the Rakata was bad enough. Being their captive was probably both. Being both? That is a fate no one should wish on any other being.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dante101](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dante101/gifts).



His head was pounding, and he felt like he was trapped in one of his nightmares—they were still somewhere in the back of his head, only some of them turned out to have been actual memories he had not realized he had forgotten—that have been taken away, so that he may better play his role.

 

He had never been free--all of it had been an illusion. And now, the illusion was gone, torn away and all he had was the cold truth. He had only ever been a puppet. Tython was never going to be a refuge—all of what he had felt had just been a suggestion planted in his mind to make Skal’nas’s plan work.

 

Each and every choice, every decision had never been his. All of them had been made on the suggestions whispered into his mind by the Rakata. He had been meant to fool the Je’daii into trusting him, into accepting him as one of them, and he had done so.

 

Skal’nas was right. They’d never take him back—not if they had known he was a constant threat, a broken link in the chain.

 

He had tried to reel against it, to deny the truth, but he couldn’t. He had no choice but accept it. He had no choice but to remember his place and obey.

 

As he has always done.

 

“What is your will, my predor?”

 

Never any choice. Not to fight, not to run. All he could do was accept that he had never been anything else but a tool.

**Author's Note:**

> Upon re-reading the scene, I actually think it's pretty clear what happens. Xesh gives up and shuts down completely--he's completely insignificant, his suffering has absolutely no meaning and the only way he can survive is to follow orders. It's more than just backsliding to what he was before Tython, because now he has an idea of how terrible his upbringing and past have been, and that he's essentially in a situation where he was a means to inflict that on others. And he can't really deal with that in any other way--he just gives up and convinces himself he's not even person.


End file.
